Longing

I just found out that JLo finally confirmed her pregnancy. A couple of friends are now pregnant and some co workers too. Can you say torture? Well, I know some of you may not understand how this feels but really, it kills you like crazy. The longing to have your own child, the madness of feeling like everyone around you are pregnant, the hoping and monthly frustrations. It's enought to drive one mad. I know, I know, in God's own time and I am all for that, but I can't really deny how I am feeling right?

But you know, inspite of the longing, sometimes, there is this tiny fear in me. Am I really ready to put my heart out on a sleeve, having to worry all the time, am I really capable of rearing a human being? I know I sound wierd and crazy, but these are the barrage of questions and thoughts I've been having.

One thing is for sure though, the longing is still there.