Closing the Door

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" - Ecclesiastes 3:1

"It's sad that silence has become normal between us. Not the nice kind of silence, or the comfortable kind of silence. But the awkward kind of silence, like between strangers. Our silence is an avoidance of the truth."

As much as I want to keep trying to fix things between us, I think I've done more than enough of my share to bridge a gap that I didn't initiate or create. I can honestly say I did my best to pick up the pieces and put them back to the way it was. But try and try as I might, the effort is one sided, my side. My side that you didn't even listen to.

You may say I am giving up on our friendship, I say I am just accepting the fact that everything has it's end. Maybe ours is this. I wish it wasn't under this circumstance but everything has a reason. There's a time for everything, and everything has it's time and I think it's time for me to let go and say goodbye to a friendship I cherished and treasured. For my own peace of mind, for my own sanity, I am closing this door and walking away. It's sad, yeah, but I've cried my tears and there's nothing left. I'm okay now. Doing much better after learning how to accept. Now it's time for me to move on.

But thank you, though. I am not callous enough to not acknowledge that you've been a friend once upon a time. I'll cherish the laughter and the memories and I pray that God will continue to bless you on your life's journey. In time, if the roads of our lives converge again, I hope we could at least give each other a smile for old time's sake before we continue our life's walk.

I miss you more than I can bear, but we had our time together. I have to let you go. - Cobb, Inception

Part 2

My instincts have never failed me and my gut is telling me something. It seems what happened about 2 years ago is happening again. I don't have confirmation of the truth just yet and things are still an assumption at this point so I won't lift a finger but as spidey always says: "my spider sense is tingling!"

The supporting casts are different this time. The story line slightly different than the last. But, it carries the same theme - betrayal. And the main characters are constant. Sometimes, one truly never learns. I'd probably update this post as soon as I get my confirmation, but to give you an idea, here was my blog post about 2 years ago:

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I Wish You Well

It's funny how people assume they know you inside out when they've only been with you for a year or two. Maybe they get to know your personality, your habits, but to know you, as in know you? That's a different story.

It just irks me that you claim to know me completely. Yes, I am a very open person, too trusting even. Yes, I tell you stories about my life but you were not there when those happened so that does not give you the right to claim that you truly know me. You don't know my past. You don't know why and how I became the person that I am today. You don't know the struggles I overcame to bring me to where I am; to give me the kind of strength that I have now to survive the challenges life throws my way. You don't know the victories and goals I accomplished that have given me the amount of humility that I have. You don't know my family, the challenges we've been through together and the joy we shared. You don't know my other friends - real friends who I can confidently say know me through and through. Precious people who would fight for me to death. Friends who would stand up for me and believe in who I am no matter what others may say.

You acted out of your assumptions and while I also tend to assume and form theories of my own, unlike you, I don't act on them because assumptions are just guesses and 90% of the time they're incorrect. I've learned that lesson a long time ago. You however, have not. The things you told people about me only confirmed that you don't know squat about me.

But that's okay. Thank you for showing me your true colors. Thank you for letting me see the kind of person that you are and the things you are capable of doing to ruin other people when you don't get your way. I should have heeded my instincts. I just chose not to because I chose to have faith in the good of people. I guess I still do, I just need to carefully choose who to believe in...who to trust. I will charge this to experience and learn.

So, I hope you're happy you were able to turn everyone against me - including the one friend that meant the most to me. But just to let you know, "what goes around, comes around". No, that's not a threat. I am merely stating fact and apart from ranting here, I am not going to do anything else. It's just going to waste my precious time - time I need to spend with true people - true friends. I just pray that you are spared from the consequences of what you did. But, then again, that's not for me to decide, so, I wish you well. Don't expect to see me sad too! I will not give you that satisfaction. From this point on, if you are under the delusion that I am affected; that I care...well, think again, b*a**h! I couldn't care less what you do with your life. I just hope that you learn to build up people instead of tearing them down.

Oh, and by the way, can you cut the crap and stop acting all nice and friendly? Stop asking me to go places with you because I won't. Not after this. Let's be civil and polite but let's not push it, okay? Maybe someday, but not now.

"Still bruised, still walk on eggshells, same frightened child hiding to protect myself. I can't believe I needed to protect myself from you but you can't manipulate me like before." - I Wish You Well, Mariah Carey