April 3, 2009

Never Act on Your Assumptions

The issue I had to deal with a couple of months back taught me a lot of things. But what stood out from all of it was that I was right about one thing: "Never act on your assumptions." I was supposed to say "Never assume" but as people, we can't really control that. We have a tendecy to assume based on stories we've heard, based on connect-the-dot stories and experiences. I guess that's okay as long as you get a hold of yourself and "Never act on your assumptions."

I still feel jaded. I still am paranoid about a lot of things. What makes me sad is that I now have a hard time trusting people. Even when I have the need to vent out on my frustrations, I now keep it to myself because I can't trust people anymore. Sigh.

But anyway, I just love this quote by Don Miguel Ruiz in his book "The Four Agreements". This is from Agreement number 3: Don't Make Assumptions. It's just so true!

Our minds have the need to “know.” When we don’t know, we make assumptions - they make us feel safer than not knowing. And we are pretty much always making assumptions. We assume that we know how someone is going to react to us. We assume that our efforts will or will not be successful. And not only do we believe our assumptions about what other people are thinking, but then we end up taking those assumptions personally and even end up resenting the person. To avoid assumptions, ask questions. It takes courage to trust the present moment, to allow other people to be exactly who they are, and to let life unfold according to its own plan… and it avoids a great deal of suffering.

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